Outstanding Parking Can Be Really Cool, Contemporary and Cultural

We have been literally snowed under with citizen contribution submissions for the semi-regular "PaveParker of the Week" spot which we used to feature on AberdeenCars. If you have a submission to make, just hit the "citizen contribution hot-link" (over to the right there) and e-mail your contribution to aberdeencars@gmail.com
Yes, it's all happening on the pavements of Aberdeen City and Shire.

Anyway, as we said, we have been overwhelmed by a literally outstanding level of contributions, so much so that we had to start up the specially dedicated "Aberdeen Parking" blog, which you can review here:
http://aberdeenparking.wordpress.com/

And, as a catalyst for inspiring our realising of the ambition that the pavements of Aberdeen "City and Shire" be regarded as a demand-responsive programmable space dimension, we'd like you to take part in the Aberdeen Parking referendum which you can take part in here:
http://aberdeenparking.wordpress.com/submit-your-opinion/

PaveParking is Cool! And the new Aberdeen Parking sub-group blog showcases that we can really see Aberdeen buzzing, cool, contemporary and cultural. (Car-cultural, that is of course!) The city can have the potential to be a visibly contemporary hub; a real buzz with the really cool car-culture dimension of nice cars in flexible space. Most of the cars in Aberdeen are quite new, so that's what we mean by contemporary.

A spectacular example of the use of flexible programmable space to transform the city centre's look, feel and reputation has been sent to us by citizen contributor "Rich" who was inspired to click the citizen contribution hot-link and e-mail aberdeencars@gmail.com with this photo attached:

The PaveParking Possibilities are Endless in the car-cultural centre of Aberdeen.

In the photo, the driver of really nice Aberdeen Car Y4GJL (which is a lovely BMW, and - let's face it - is JUST COOL) is showcasing the inspirational array of exciting car-cultural possibilities offered in the city centre locus by showing that he or she can afford to pay the laughably tiny charges for parking on (indeed, OVER) double yellow lines.

Yes, not only is the driver of this Aberdeen Car demonstrating the focus of his or her car-cultural vibrancy with this choice of a lovely expensive white BMW which is cool, they are happy to show that they are cash-rich with their anti-authority individualistic attitude to parking fines. Affluence brings choices, and consumer choice is the one and only true freedom. So is their anything more splendid and inspiring and cool than someone showing off their affluence? Indeed, so secure in their ability to make choices is the driver of this Aberdeen Car that they have stradded the anti-car no-parking lines (the double-yellow-straddle) in order to PavePark, thus demonstrating their superiority in every way over the nearby pestestrians who make the heart of the city centre look so untidy.

In addition to all this, the driver of this Aberdeen Car, this super BMW which adds so much to the cultural offering of the heart of Aberdeen, has been sure to inspire by carefully rendering the cycle-lane unusable. This sends out the message that cyclists are not welcome in Aberdeen, which is the Oil Capital of the Earth, and so must never, ever, ever, be seen to allow people to get about without using lots and lots of lovely fossil-fuel energy. This is the very essence of supporting the local economy, whereas cyclists and pedestrians are anti-oil, and therefore must be anti-Aberdeen tree-hugging naysaying nimbys. Must be.

So thanks to "Rich" who has helped us and all the drivers of Aberdeen Cars deliver the message that there truly is nothing more splendid than wealth and riches. And with the internationally known PaveParkers of Aberdeen delivering an opening up of an exciting array of PaveParking opportunities which can inspire and help to deliver a stamping out of cycling and walking, Aberdeen's vibrant reputation for a cool, contemporary vision of culture - a place where "It's All Happening" and the "Possiblilities are Endless" - is assured!

Aberdeen Council Cancel Mary Portas Free Parking Plan

We got all excited about the forthcoming suspension of parking charges in Aberdeen "City and Shire". You'll all remember, just before Xmas, that Mary Portas off the telly saying that the only way to save 'the High Street' is for councils to offer free parking in town centres. The BBC covered it:

Free parking
Having affordable town centre parking is another key recommendation.
In a recent survey, the Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) found that 50% of their members said the lack of affordable town centre parking had a detrimental effect on their business.
John Walker, chairman of the FSB, said: "Putting in place free controlled parking schemes and introducing a parking league table could go some way in [addressing] this."

And yes, we agree with this, it must be put on any sensible planning horizon. The common sense policy of free parking in city centres is long overdue and much needed and would definitely go a long way to easing traffic woes. We already pay enough for the privilege of driving our nice cars into town. We are already taxed to the eyeballs with road taxes and council parking charges are just another tax on motoring from our anti-car, anti-business, anti-growth council. That Mary Portas off the telly is right to announce that parking should be free for important wealth creators like us, bringing in our extensive buying power at high speed from our hinterland dormitories to the US-style covered-mall shopping pleasuredomes of Aberdeen. Being off the telly, she is sure to be perfectly correct in all her opinions and recommendations. We should take note.

But did our council listen to this important and correct TV personality in her call for free parking for the important wealth creating drivers of Aberdeen Cars? Did they listen? Oh no, they think they know better... As everyone knows, in recent years our council has done everything they can to discourage people coming into the city by car, cloaking their anti-car, anti-growth, anti-Aberdeen measures in a green mantle of environmentalism.

And so it continues... we noticed this in council-subsidised local freesheet: The Aberdeen Citizen (BEST [sic] free newspaper in Scotland) :

But Aberdeen City Council's planning and infrastructure convenor Kate Dean said the [parking] controls were there for a reason. "If you do not want to get fined, then park in the correct place," she said. "We would also hope that people use public transport which would reduce congestion as well." She said she did not support the scrapping of parking charges...

Typical. Just typical. But we can take a crumb of comfort... nowhere in her anti-car rant does Kate Dean mention that anything should be done to support or promote active transport modes like walking or cycling. Thank goodness, for these treehugger activities have no place in the city of the future (which is unlikely to have any trees for them to hug anyway). Aberdeen's latest multi-million pound indoor shopping mall - ultramodern Union Square with its extensive outdoor and covered parking accessible by thrillingly spiral ramp - that's what the city of the future will look like.

One of the reasons for the success of Union Square is that – once you have battled your way through the traffic – at least the parking is adequate and reasonably priced. 

We suppose that we have to agree to an extent, though, with Kate Dean; we agree with her that some people should be expected always to need public transport to get them to the shops - shame. Some people in the underclass will always just be too poor to afford a really nice car to get them to Union Square with its welcoming, vibrant car parking.

So, to sum up, our council needs to take note and make things right and ease transport with lots of free or very cheap car parking space and extra road capacity for cars, so that our city centre can yes become a welcoming place again, regardless of how people choose to travel, whether by car, or public transport. Either option is open. See - we're not monsters. (As long as they don't come on foot or by bike - haha, for goodness sake! Be reasonable!)

"Just Leave the Car At Home" - Insult from Council

http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/2543951

THE man in charge of ensuring traffic flows freely in Aberdeen has urged shoppers to leave their cars at home to cut gridlock this Christmas.
Huge crowds are expected at the weekend as thousands of people flock to the city centre.
Infrastructure director Gordon McIntosh ... is appealing to residents to take advantage of public transport and avoid clogging up roads and car parks with traffic.

Unbelievable. That the council civil servant in charge of infrastructure should issue such an edict! Of course, what he fails to realise is that most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people like this council apparatchik just expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

The retail sector in Aberdeen "City and Shire" has designed itself around mass-motoring. Our huge city-centre carparks servicing the huge city-centre indoor shopping malls. And, of course, driving about a lot and using lots of petrol supports the oil industry - our major employer. And everyone knows that the retail sector in Aberdeen is one of the key drivers of economic growth - contributing to a real "buzz" in the city providing the vibrancy which will kick-start the economy of the whole country, pulling UK plc out of recession. Not only that, vibrant Aberdeen now has by far the highest house prices in Scotland, and all that economic activity demonstrated by the highly economically active motorists of Aberdeen "City and Shire" as they vibrantly drive about the place helps to keep house prices high, showing the way for the whole of Scotland - what with average house prices in Aberdeen now approaching 20% higher than even Edinburgh!

So, for this Gordon McIntosh to critically undermine the engine of vibrant house-price growth demonstrates beyond any shadow of doubt that he is anti-car, anti-free-market, anti-growth and anti-Aberdeen. But then, what do you expect from a public-sector employee, featherbedded as he is with his gold-plated pension? How dare he presume tell us what to do! If he likes totalitarian communism so much he should move to North Korea, where hardly anyone has a car (coincidence?). Then he'd be happy, wouldn't he?

 

Aberdeen Needs A Bypass for SW10BCU and W201HSS

The above video demonstrates that so great has traffic volume become in the city centre and so intense has the pressure become on the drivers of Aberdeen Cars to provide the necessary economic growth to lead UK plc out of recession that somethings gotta give!

And yes, we can actually understand and sympathise with the pestestrians who we're told feel intimidated when a busy important motorists bend the rules just a little like this, when the "green man" (who he?) is about to come "on". We can only sympathise a little bit, though, because these people only have themselves to blame. If only they were cleverer, worked harder, had more money, were nicer etc, then they could have a nice car and feel all safe and prioritized at Holburn Junction.

Yes we have sympathy (although our sympathy is evaporating a little with each frown, each flap of the hands, each arrogant gesture from these people - why don't they just get their act together and get a car?). Ideally, cars should stop at red lights. But, when there is no by-pass round Aberdeen, there is no alternative but to jump red lights when commuting. That is simple fact.

Which leads us to hope that these self same moaning arrogant pedestrian people are not among the ranks of people who are opposing and delaying the AWPR with court orders and other such nonsense.

If they are, I have a simple message: You can’t have it both ways!

Either you help expedite a by-pass, or you have to accept red light jumping in the city centre. As demonstrated by the drivers of Aberdeen Cars SW10BCU and W201HSS.

Worrying Statistics

We read with horror, disbelief, shock and fear that pedal-cycle numbers are on the sharp increase in Aberdeen. Latest figures from vegetarian war-on-the-motorist support group Aberdeen Cycle Forum show that year on year cycling in Aberdeen has increased by 18%.


Somebody once said that the misunderstanding of exponential growth is one of society's greatest problems, so let us spell that out for you...

You might be unconcerned: "A growth of 18% on top of what is a very low figure anyway need hardly trouble the busy and superior drivers of Aberdeen Cars" - we hear you say. But, an 18% year on year growth leads to a doubling period of just 4 years. Can you imagine? Double the amount of cyclists on our streets by 2015. And double that again by 2019. At this rate, the amount of cycling in Aberdeen "City and Shire" will reach and maybe even surpass our government's stated target of 10% of journeys in Scotland to be undertaken by bike by 2020. And to think, in our complacency the drivers of Aberdeen Cars once labeled this 10% target far-fetched and unrealistic, choosing instead to look forward to the certainty that zero-emission motor transport will be ubiquitous by the time the Aberdeen bypass opens in 2012.

We have been asleep at the wheel (not just taking photos from behind it) and have allowed the grass to grow beneath our tyres - our local press reports that motor traffic on our major city routes is at its lowest for years and years. In some cases motor traffic levels have dropped to a paltry volume not seen since 1995. Frightening - it is as if the ground has opened up beneath our sump-pans.

And into this vacuum the cyclists have swarmed like vermin. We think this sends out all the wrong messages about Aberdeen "City and Shire": It says we are a city and region that does not value its ability to buy really nice cars; it says we are a city that couldn't care less about economic growth. What with all those people cycling around Aberdeen these days rather than use their lovely big cars, the place is looking a bit like DSS-land or StudentVille or something.

That's why it's vital that we do everything we can to fight back - to support the planned road improvements which will draw more drivers in more cars into the heart of the city centre and park in the lovely new underground car park which the City Gardens Project has planned for us adjacent to our favourite piece of urban infrastructure - the Denburn Dual Carriageway. The measures which will support this are the Berryden Corridor Improvements, the Aberdeen Bypass, the Haudagain Improvements and our continued resistance to the pedestrianisation of Union Street.

But most importantly, it is vital that we do everything we can to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriageway!" Join our popular common-sense campaign to put roads and road planning and road users at the heart of city planning - where we belong! ('like' us on FaceBook, 'follow' us on Twitter)

Urban Realists vs. Urban Intellectuals

An informant has passed us a couple of links to PDF reports on the Aberdeen City Council website from which we can infer the institution of a bizarre anti-car-ownership policy by our council.

http://committees.aberdeencity.gov.uk/mgConvert2PDF.aspx?ID=12635
http://committees.aberdeencity.gov.uk/mgConvert2PDF.aspx?ID=10028

The texts refer to the setting up of a so-called "car club" in Aberdeen. Not only will the vehicles for this weird "car-sharing" (eh?) scheme sit dog-in-a-manger like on the street in parking spaces which should by rights be the preserve of proper motorists who own their own cars and pay road tax, but these "car club" motors will be made available to non-car owners! Indeed, it is expected that existing car owners who join "car club" will give up car ownership! Honestly! You couldn't make this stuff up!

From one of the council reports:

Broadly speaking, a car club is an organisation that owns or leases, and maintains, a fleet of cars from which its members can book a vehicle whenever they need it. The club pays for tax, insurance, servicing, cleaning and fuel, whereas members pay a joining fee and a subsequent fee for each journey made. 48 cities or towns in the UK (including London of course) currently operate successful car clubs. The concept has only failed once, in Liverpool, because of vandalism in poorly lit areas. Studies by Carplus, a national charity supporting responsible car use, have shown that 10% of car club members will give up owning a car or sell a second family car or defer owning a car in the first place. Typically, this results in ten vehicles slipping off the radar for each car club vehicle. The environmental benefits are evident, and individuals are encouraged to consider more closely whether they really need a car, or (more likely) whether they really need a second one.

Clearly this plan is a “green” initiative – dreamed up by politicians and “urban intellectuals” – to reduce the number of cars in the city centre by trying to persuade people that they don’t need cars. Hahahahahaha!

From an urban realist’s perspective, this initiative will have little effect on city centre traffic which has become a problem as a result of poor planning: over the last 30+ years, developers have over-developed city centre sites by being allowed to “buyout” the lack of parking.

The motor car has been around for more than 100 years. It is quite unacceptable for the Council to be treating city centre residents and visitors as pariahs for daring to own cars. What these "urban intellectuals" fail to realise is that we urban realists represent the majority of people in Aberdeen who aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people like the "urban intellectuals" expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists, pavements and the like for freeloading pedestrians and parking bays and the like for freeloading car-club members.

For this reason car club will fail in Aberdeen.

Locking in the Benefits. By taking them away?

As part of the work of national importance which we do here at Aberdeen Cars we have been passed the "AWPR - Locking in the Benefits" document which was written by the nimby naysayers at NESTRANS. This made us worry. Worry on behalf of our followers who, like all drivers of Aberdeen Cars, want to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriagway!" ('Like' us on FaceBook, 'follow' us on Twitter.)

Nooooo!

Part of this document relates to the "reallocation" of roadspace away from motorists in favour of buses, trains and bicycles and other measures to discourage the use of cars; improved facilities for cyclists and pedestrians and all sorts of other such airy-fairy nonsense for vegetarians.

As everyone knows, the only way to ensure future prosperity for Aberdeen "City and Shire" is to "go for growth" by putting more cars on more roads, then sit back and watch the economy rip! So, we're scared, yes - terrified - that the underuse of the Denburn Dual Carrageway (which we already identified) will lead to its "reallocation" under the NESTRANS fig-leaf of "Locking in the Benefits" once the Aberdeen bypass is open in 2012. Use it or lose it!

And then there's the "Tunnels Vision for Aberdeen Transport".

"Underground tunnels for buses and trams could be built in Aberdeen as part of plans which would see vehicles banned from three of the city’s busiest streets."

When we first heard about these tunnels we were delighted. But then we saw those words "...vehicles banned from three of the city's streets". They just don't get it, these "men of vision" do they? These proposals for extra futuristic road space shouldn't be "instead of" they should be "as well as". And so, they plan to give with one hand. Motorways, tunnels, relief roads. And take away with another. Road space reallocated to pedestrians, cyclists, trains.

That word "reallocation", frightening. Sounds a bit like "re-education" Mao-style. These war-on-the-motorist lefties are all the same.

An Underused Urban Asset in Aberdeen

Take a look at that picture. The Denburn Valley. Our friends at Bristol Traffic have pointed out that there's the railway for poor people to use, the pavement for bins and vans and a proper road (the Denburn Dual Carriageway) for real people to use. But that's the problem! They're not using it! A lovely big road like that, and hardly any nice cars or vans using it.

What with all those people walking and cycling around Aberdeen these days rather than use the lovely big road, the place is looking a bit like DSS-land or StudentVille or something. This sends out all the wrong messages.

They say "use it or lose it" and, indeed, that's one of the arguments being used in support of the redevelopment of the neighbouring Union Terrace Gardens: that the green space is "rarely used", is a "pocket of market failure" and should therefore be turned into a shopping centre. Or something. And so an opportunity presents itself.

As part of the forthcoming exciting City Square Project in Union Terrace Gardens, we'd like to see a lovely new big thrilling car park included in the plans. This will attract lots of nice cars into the heart of the city centre and fill the Denburn Dual Carriageway full of busy bustling traffic. This will ensure that, to the visitor, Aberdeen "City and Shire" will look very much like a region on the up-and-up. A city that knows where it's going. It's going shopping!

Moreover, the creation of a super big new exciting car park in the heart of the city will, through induced demand, create a justification for the new Berryden Corridor Urban Dual Carriageway Development. See how it all fits together? It's a "no-brainer"!

Simples!

We have deliberately created a 'facebook page' to spearhead our campaign to save and enhance this underused urban asset in Aberdeen.

Cycle Lane Use in Rosemount

They spend all our Road Tax and Petrol Tax on Cycle Lanes and Advance Stop Lines and Toucan Crossings the like, and then you hardly ever see these facilities being used!

It really is regrettable when this happens, but we're pleased to say that the people of Rosemount Viaduct in Aberdeen's cosmopolitan City Centre are making great use of the texturecrete denoted cycle lane which is protected by "At Any Time" parking restriction with double-yellows and everything.

They own bikes, d'you see?

You see, all you need (like the drivers of these Aberdeen Cars) is to own a bicycle (it might be your young daughter's 'Barbie-brand' tiny pink trike with the sparkly streamers flowing from the handlebars which has been sitting at the back of the garage since 2003), and then you can use the Cycle Lane for whatever purpose you please! We think. It's a bit like TV licenses - you buy one TV license and you can have as many TV's in the house as you like. Similarly if you own one bike, you can use the cycling facilities any way you please. Spread the word.

Going Stockholm in the City Centre

We've mentioned in the past that we're getting a bit worried about our deep cover agent "Codename JannieJumbo" who provides us with intelligence from deep within the 'cycling activist fraternity' in Aberdeen "City and Shire". We think he has "turned". To the dark side.

In this latest video which he's provided us with, he's seen speeding through the City on his bicyle much faster than any tax-paying car could manage. In the video, our so-called agent traverses the entirity of the city centre, from Queens Cross to the Castlegate in 5 minutes flat!

We don't think this is fair. The bus/bike lanes should be abolished at once and made available for hard-pressed tax-paying motorists to use. After all, we paid for 'em!

Aberdeen Cycle Chic. Disgusting.

What is wrong with this picture? We have identified 5 major problems which rock the foundations of reality in Aberdeen "City and Shire".



Did you see them? Here you go...

1. The young woman cycling appears to have not a care in the world; she is wearing an expression of mild serenity as she listens to the wailing wheech drone skirl of the bagpiper in the background. This is wrong; she should of course, be miserable, what with her not being in a nice car and all.
2. She is occupying the Advanced Stop Box (or whatever it's called - you know, that red tarmac bit for the pole position driver at the lights, so that that driver can properly anticipate the changing of the lights and roar away at red-amber). She is there all by herself, it not being occupied by other more important ordinary people in their lovely cars. We ask why not? They paid for it with their extortionate road-tax after all! 
3. Her bike looks old, inexpensive, slow and comfortable. It has mudguards and a strong step-through frame. It's not a mountain bike (hardcore, dangerous, expensive) or a racer (hardcore, uncomfortable, expensive). Indeed, her bike looks ordinary, affordable, utilitarian and even a bit 'dowdy'. This does not fit with the aspiration agenda of Aberdeen "City and Shire". Don't get us wrong, we've got nothing against the right bicycle in the right place: We can understand that cycling in the summer is a nice, pleasant family pastime. In the public park, for instance, and well away from busy important traffic. You put your expensive clean (very important) mountain or racing bike on a rack on the tailgate of your Range Rover and drive to your chosen cycling recreational venue. Then you cycle round and round for a bit, then you put the bike back on the rack and drive home. A lovely day out, a holiday or weekend hobby. Cycling has no place in everyday life in the city centre.
4. The young woman is dressed in a studenty bohemian style with an accent hat and idiosyncratic trouser/sock combination. She is drawing attention to herself and rubbing the noses of the beleaguered tax-farmed hard-pressed busy important motorists-in-a-hurry in her tax-free transport mode and care-free lifestyle. This is not right. She should be forced to conform, 
5. If she insists on not-driving, she should, of course be forced by mandatory compulsion to wear both a cycle helmet (very important - this is where they will display the registration numbers we want them to wear) and high-visibility day-glo plastic clothing. Only by putting all these subversive non-motoring elements into this humiliating and clownish uniform will we be able to identify them quickly and easily - to flush them out - when the time comes for their re-education. This re-education will usually take the form of peer-pressure insistence on getting a "nice wee car".  

So yes, 5 things wrong. We're worried that things are not quite going the way they should in Aberdeen "City and Shire", photos like the one above send out all the wrong messages. We're worried that this photo might fall into the wrong hands and be used to promote some sort of old-fashioned idea of how attractive Aberdeen might be for tourists, students, artists, young people, bohemians, hippies, vegetarians and other weirdos; what with friendly non-motor accessibility to the city centre, the unique monumental granite statuary, our city centre's charming Victorian sunken park at Union Terrace Gardens, the busking piper etc.

That would be quite wrong. Everyone knows that what attracts tourists and creates economic growth is dual carriageways, like the one pictured below, which will soon extend all the way to where the photo of our bohemian cyclist above was taken:

In any case, we don't much like bagpipes anyway, and look forward to the day when the soothing roar of traffic, speeding on its way to create economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire" drowns out their hellish skirl.