Speed Limits

Everyone will have noticed the Government's announcement that they aspire to raise the motorway speed limit to 80 mph. Initially we were very excited by this, for when Aberdeen's new bypass Motorway, the Aberdeen Western Peripheral Route (AWPR) is built, when we roar along the "Fastlink" at 80mph, we will not risk getting any more points on our licence.

But then we thought about this policy in more detail, And, frankly we were disgusted. Firstly, where is the corollary for other types of road? If the government are going to decriminalise going at 80 on the motorway, will they also please legalise going 40 and even 50 or 60 in town? Our endorsement points are mounting up, despite the fact that we pay dearly through road taxes for our right to use Her Majesty's pot-holed highway.

But secondly, and this is the subtle bit, we began to notice something rather sinister in this motorway speed policy. Now, pay attention:

Increasing speeds on a road leads to a proportionate decrease in capacity (i.e. number of vehicles passing a point, per lane, per hour). Braking distance is proportional to the square of the speed. So if drivers are doing 80 mph instead of 70 mph (a speed increase of 14%), the safe braking distance is increased by a factor of (80/70)^2, or about 30%. The lane capacity (ignoring vehicle length for simplicity) is the vehicle speed divided by the separation between vehicles. The throughput of vehicles at 80 mph as a fraction of the throughput at 70 mph is given by:
 (80 / 70) / ((80 / 70)^2)
 = 1 / (80 / 70)
 = 70 / 80
= 7/8 or 87.5%

So that's an immediate decrease in road capacity of 12.5% as a result of raising the speed limit. Shocking!

Seems that, while pretending to be the "motorists' friend" and with Phil "Hoverboard" Hammond declaring that "Labour's War on Motorists is OVER", our Tory government is actually intent on reallocating roadspace AWAY from we hard-pressed motorists. Horrible!

Also, the tragedy of the commons applies - a shared resource which is free to exploit at the point of use will be over-subscribed. All motorists rightly and naturally like to go really really fast; Oh the thrill of speeding along the open road; yes those deserted switchback mountain roads; night-time urban highways; laser-straight racetrack autobahn, like in the car adverts - and the new government policy speaks to this dream of unhindered open-road high-speed freedom. This will, quite naturally, attract more motorists to our newly high-speed motorways where these extra motorists will actually find constricted capacity because of that self-same increase in speeds. The prospect of driving faster will attract more car journeys onto already oversubscribed roads and will actually mean more congestion. This will, in the longer run, detract from motoring and push motorists onto alternate modes of travel. Disgusting!

So, while we naturally and rightly support faster driving, we can only support this policy if:

1. it is rolled out across the entirety of the UKs roadspace, including town centres, school zones and residential areas, and
2. it is supported by a massive increase (at least 12.5%, but better to be 15%, no 20%) in the amount of roadspace in the UK. This means a massive new roadbuilding programme which will bring great benefits of economic growth.

We trust that, during the consultation process, Transport Minister Phil Hammond will take our criticisms and recommendations into account. After all, here in Aberdeen, we know a few things about cars and economic growth!

RAC Foundation - Splitters!

What's going on at the RAC Foundation? It's as if they've changed sides in the War on the Motorist!

Their latest press release:

Petrol prices fuel cost of eurozone holidays

3 August 2011

Drivers of cars using unleaded petrol will be in for a shock when they fill up in some of the most popular holiday destinations on the continent this summer

Contrary to popular myth - and despite the financial turmoil across much of the eurozone – the UK does not have the most expensive petrol prices in Europe.

Using the current tourist exchange rate, eight of the 17 countries which use the Euro as their national currency are shown to charge more at the pumps for unleaded fuel than the UK.

Amongst eurozone nations the most expensive fuel is to be found in Greece (£1.55 per litre), followed by The Netherlands (£1.54) and then France and Belgium (both £1.47). After that comes Portugal and Italy (both £1.45), Finland (£1.42) and Germany (£1.40). In the UK the current unleaded price is £1.36 per litre.

Well, the RAC has gone a bit "off-road" there, hasn't it? How are we to continue with our motorist activism and advocacy when one of our central tenets is undermined by what we had hitherto assumed to be one of our best and most respected pro-motoring advocates. A dig amongst the RAC Foundation media centre hinted at the problem:

Informing the debate

The RAC Foundation is happy to provide evidence-based comment where appropriate to help inform the transport debate.

And there you have it, those words "evidence-based". That's not what's needed for furthering the cause of Aberdeen Cars (and all our brother and sister pressure groups) at all. What's needed is ill-founded assertions based on indignant self-regard - in other words, what we call "common sense".

We've found other examples of the RAC's "evidence-based" research on their website; research like:

"The Car in British Society" (pdf)
This pamphlet has, as one of its a priori assumptions:

...the [fact that] unrestrained use of motor vehicles, especially in urban areas, produces real public disadvantages.

To which we say: "No it doesn't! What are you talking about? You're just jealous of my nice car! What's wrong... can't you afford a nice car?"

The RAC pamphlet uses as its background an earlier RAC "study" - Car Dependence - of which they say:

The study identified a group of users and trip purposes (‘the low hanging fruit’) that could relatively easily be encouraged to reduce their car use (mainly through transfer to other modes).

Of course, what the RAC have failed to recognise is the fact that most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and toucan crossings and the like for freeloading cyclists and pedestrians (what we now call "odd footpeople").

Additionally, most people in Aberdeen invest a lot of time and money in their cars. This is a natural way of gaining respect from those who will see them in their nice cars with cherished plates. To spoil this effect (e.g. when freeloaders overtake them on a bike or bus) infuriates us drivers of these nice cars. - This is completely understandable. Cycling must therefore be stamped out, bus lanes scrapped and all pedestrain odd footpeople footways parked upon as often as possible. What are we waiting for?

So, forget what the RAC splitters say, they're just wrong.

Many, many more RAC anti-car rants can be found in pamphlet form on their website, anti car rants like:

"Die Hard Drivers are still wedded to their cars"
Trends in Modal Shift (PDF)

Car Dependence
"...twenty percent of car journeys could be made by transport other than the car."

The Effectiveness of Speed Cameras (PDF)
"It is clear that collisions and casualties decreased substantially at the more
than 4000 sites covered by the four-year evaluation. [...] Deployment of speed cameras leads to appreciable reductions in speed in the vicinity of the cameras and substantial reductions in collisions and casualties there over and above the likely effects of regression to the mean."

Worrying Statistics

We read with horror, disbelief, shock and fear that pedal-cycle numbers are on the sharp increase in Aberdeen. Latest figures from vegetarian war-on-the-motorist support group Aberdeen Cycle Forum show that year on year cycling in Aberdeen has increased by 18%.


Somebody once said that the misunderstanding of exponential growth is one of society's greatest problems, so let us spell that out for you...

You might be unconcerned: "A growth of 18% on top of what is a very low figure anyway need hardly trouble the busy and superior drivers of Aberdeen Cars" - we hear you say. But, an 18% year on year growth leads to a doubling period of just 4 years. Can you imagine? Double the amount of cyclists on our streets by 2015. And double that again by 2019. At this rate, the amount of cycling in Aberdeen "City and Shire" will reach and maybe even surpass our government's stated target of 10% of journeys in Scotland to be undertaken by bike by 2020. And to think, in our complacency the drivers of Aberdeen Cars once labeled this 10% target far-fetched and unrealistic, choosing instead to look forward to the certainty that zero-emission motor transport will be ubiquitous by the time the Aberdeen bypass opens in 2012.

We have been asleep at the wheel (not just taking photos from behind it) and have allowed the grass to grow beneath our tyres - our local press reports that motor traffic on our major city routes is at its lowest for years and years. In some cases motor traffic levels have dropped to a paltry volume not seen since 1995. Frightening - it is as if the ground has opened up beneath our sump-pans.

And into this vacuum the cyclists have swarmed like vermin. We think this sends out all the wrong messages about Aberdeen "City and Shire": It says we are a city and region that does not value its ability to buy really nice cars; it says we are a city that couldn't care less about economic growth. What with all those people cycling around Aberdeen these days rather than use their lovely big cars, the place is looking a bit like DSS-land or StudentVille or something.

That's why it's vital that we do everything we can to fight back - to support the planned road improvements which will draw more drivers in more cars into the heart of the city centre and park in the lovely new underground car park which the City Gardens Project has planned for us adjacent to our favourite piece of urban infrastructure - the Denburn Dual Carriageway. The measures which will support this are the Berryden Corridor Improvements, the Aberdeen Bypass, the Haudagain Improvements and our continued resistance to the pedestrianisation of Union Street.

But most importantly, it is vital that we do everything we can to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriageway!" Join our popular common-sense campaign to put roads and road planning and road users at the heart of city planning - where we belong! ('like' us on FaceBook, 'follow' us on Twitter)

April Fuel! Protests

As pro-motoring activists who just love driving, we at Aberdeen Cars will be taking full part in April's fuel protests. Oh yes. There's nothing we like better than putting our foot down on the open road on our way to work or the shops. When we drive around Aberdeen, it's just like the TV car adverts: A beautifully gleaming brand-new car swooshes and swishes sure-footedly around deserted city streets in an aspirational modern city; a roadster carries a glamourous young couple round Bavarian switchback bends on a deserted mountain road; a 2.4 children family arrive laughing at the beach in their people carrier, the sun gleaming through a blue sky - driving round Aberdeen is exactly like that. We find it disgusting that through high taxes, speed limits, unessesary road closures and the like the government - in the pocket of the so-called "green lobby" - are doing everything they can to get us out of our beloved cars.

Bavarian Hairpin Roadster. "Vroooom".

So, to preserve our cherished way of life, to support all other beleaguered tax farmed motorists around the UK and to show big business and thus the government that drivers are a priority not a luxury, today, we'll be taking part in the "Petrol Price slash - make the joke on them" protest, which is a fuel boycott running today. The idea is that, to display our disgust at the governments paltry 1p drop in petrol duty, we all stop filling our tanks today - creating a loss of profit for the oil companies and forcing them to put pressure on the government to do something or other.

Next, over the weekend, the second leg of the protest will kick off, we will avoid all large shopping destinations which depend on the driver for trade - we will empty their out-of-town and intersection car parks and, instead, walk to the town centre or local shops.

Yes, this weekend of action will show the government that we have clout. If they don't listen to us, we'll just stop providing our vital economy-supporting driving-about-the-place service. We'll boycot petrol. We'll boycot destinations that need cars to get to them. We'll find an alternative, yes, we'll show them that there are alternatives to being tax-farmed at every turn! We'll walk! We'll cycle! We'll get the bus or train! Oh, wait. Hang on a minute...

Declassified Image from the War on the Motorist

Now that Philip Hammond has ended the War on the Motorist (and not before time!) we are beginning to see the release of declassified documents from the conflict.

This image was captured during the attempted "no drive zone" of 1974.

Locking in the Benefits. By taking them away?

As part of the work of national importance which we do here at Aberdeen Cars we have been passed the "AWPR - Locking in the Benefits" document which was written by the nimby naysayers at NESTRANS. This made us worry. Worry on behalf of our followers who, like all drivers of Aberdeen Cars, want to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriagway!" ('Like' us on FaceBook, 'follow' us on Twitter.)

Nooooo!

Part of this document relates to the "reallocation" of roadspace away from motorists in favour of buses, trains and bicycles and other measures to discourage the use of cars; improved facilities for cyclists and pedestrians and all sorts of other such airy-fairy nonsense for vegetarians.

As everyone knows, the only way to ensure future prosperity for Aberdeen "City and Shire" is to "go for growth" by putting more cars on more roads, then sit back and watch the economy rip! So, we're scared, yes - terrified - that the underuse of the Denburn Dual Carrageway (which we already identified) will lead to its "reallocation" under the NESTRANS fig-leaf of "Locking in the Benefits" once the Aberdeen bypass is open in 2012. Use it or lose it!

And then there's the "Tunnels Vision for Aberdeen Transport".

"Underground tunnels for buses and trams could be built in Aberdeen as part of plans which would see vehicles banned from three of the city’s busiest streets."

When we first heard about these tunnels we were delighted. But then we saw those words "...vehicles banned from three of the city's streets". They just don't get it, these "men of vision" do they? These proposals for extra futuristic road space shouldn't be "instead of" they should be "as well as". And so, they plan to give with one hand. Motorways, tunnels, relief roads. And take away with another. Road space reallocated to pedestrians, cyclists, trains.

That word "reallocation", frightening. Sounds a bit like "re-education" Mao-style. These war-on-the-motorist lefties are all the same.

MORE BAD NEWS for Aberdeen Cars in the Press and Journal

Consumed with inner conflict about the high price of petrol (bad for the drivers of Aberdeen Cars) and the high price of oil (good for economic growth in Aberdeen "City and Shire") we turned to our local journal of record, the venerable and redoubtable "Press and Journal" where comforting pro-motorist stories like this can usually be found:

Discontent over Pump Prices - in which the leader writer invokes the spirit of revolution in the Middle-east in calling for the put-upon drivers of Aberdeen Cars to rise up in their discontent and overthrow the government because of high petrol prices. Yay! Up the revolution! Right on! And we thought it was just the pestestrians and cyclits who were rebellious!




And this heart-warming story about radar-assist parking:

Reversing into the unknown after my beeps lose their ping











But then we saw this:

Bikes Buck the Trend in which the author says:

Demand for bicycles has almost tripled over the past 12 months, despite noticeable price hikes.

Evans Cycles, founded in 1921, ... last year increased annual profits by an extremely healthy 103%.

Evans’ success is, ironically, largely attributable to the economic downturn which has resulted in a sizeable number of people considering cheaper forms of transport. While other industries were contracting, the company opened four new stores last year, increasing its total to 36.

Cycling enthusiasts are fuelling the surge, as more people embrace pedal power. Cycle club membership has boomed as Britons have been bitten by the two-wheel bug.

Companies such as Evans Cycles and Halfords have benefited enormously from the government’s Cycle to Work scheme. Both organisations are part of the Cycle to Work Alliance, a body which has enabled more than 400,000 people to acquire a new bike.

Under the programme, tax-deductible bikes were made available for people wishing to pedal to work.

Now, let's see if you can grasp this - tax breaks for bicycles? Employer-subsidised bicycles? We needn't tell our readers - the hard-pressed hard-working tax-farmed beleaguered drivers of Aberdeen Cars what we find morally, commercially and capitalistically reprehensible about this 'scheme'. That bicycle manufacturers and retailers are 'benefitting' from the economic downturn is just typical of these people. They "reap the benefits" while ordinary people suffer. It makes my blood boil! But wait, the article continues...

However, new tax rules threaten to halt the popular initiative by making users pay more for their discounted bicycles. Employees prepared to sacrifice a small proportion of their salary were previously able to acquire a brand new bike at a discount of up to 50% on the shop price, depending on their tax band.

In effect, workers hired the bike from their employers, paying for it via monthly instalments deducted from their salary before tax.

These hire arrangements generally lasted between 12 and 18 months, after which the bikes were sold to employees for their fair market value. 

Up until August 2010, the tax authorities had not elaborated on what constituted fair, although most employers and employees accepted 5% of the original shop value was about right. However, HMRC decided the 5% figure was a gross under- valuation of most one-year-old bicycles.

All credit to the author of the Press and Journal article for trying his or her best to put a positive spin on it what with the changes to the potential magnitude of the tax subsidy for tax-dodging cyclists and everything, but we can't help thinking that this is just "whistling past the graveyard". But in any case, their dissembling PR-cookbook attempt to spread Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt amongst potential cyclists is regrettably wrong and so might backfire.

As the HMRC tax authority website points out on here there is actually minimal change to the 'facts on the ground', with the potential cycle-commuter now liable to pay a maximum increased charge for their tax-and-employer-subsidised bike of just £10. Yes, Ten Pounds. That's no sort of disincentive at all!

There's no disguising the grave nature of this development: the fact that cycling is 'on the up' is an abomination to Aberdeen "City and Shire".

The Press and Journal should have left well alone. This news should have been suppressed.

Enemy of the PaveParker? - Norman Baker

Parking on the pavement - PaveParking is a necessary "tool in the box" for Aberdeen "City and Shire" and the drivers of Aberdeen Cars who are tasked with the onerous responsibility of leading the UK out of the grim dank valley of recession and towards the sunlit uplands of economic growth.

PaveParking: Pro-growth.

By exercising our right to park on the pavement we are demonstrating the sure knowledge that unimpeded traffic flow, encouraging more cars onto more roadspace, is the only way to ensure this much-needed growth.

That's why we were horrified to read that our supposedly pro-business Government is actually nothing of the sort, what with Junior Minister Norman Baker (who is, after all a LibDem) now allowing councils to "use their powers to prevent parking on the pavement when it is a problem".

Baker: Anti-growth. Anti-Aberdeen

Well, obviously, we would question whether parking on the pavement is ever "a problem", rather it is, quite obviously, a solution. But secondly we can only express our horror and revulsion at this return of the nanny state; trying to order us about and tell us what we can and can't do. That's not what we expected at all from this Government at all!

But wait, we think we can see what's going on here - being a LibDem he is pandering to his base with this policy which seems, at first sight, to be nothing less than War on the Motorist anti-car agitation. But, this government is a slippery customer! See how they offered up the "easy win" straw-man by back-pedaling on selling off those forests? Well, we think we can see what they're doing here. It's those words: "when it is a problem". That would be a subjective judgement in each case. Yes, these are called "weasel words" and provide plenty of wriggle room. By issuing his edict, Baker seems comes across as quite the yoghurt-knitting sandal-wearing bearded liberal, and so placates his electorate, but by providing a "get-out" he renders his own encyclical practically worthless. Subtle! Brilliant!

There is, also, a second ray of hope for the important drivers of Aberdeen Cars. Mr Baker's writ runs only in England. We must hope that here in Scotland, home of the Enlightenment and the birthplace of Capitalism, our politicians will over the next few months be far too busy tearing lumps out of each other in the election campaign for the Scottish Parliament to be bothered noticing this piece of nonsense from our Imperial Governors Down South. Not that it means anything anyway.

We fight for our rights!

Our Call to Ban Winter Cycling

We were very disappointed to read a report on STV's news website

"Cyclist Injured in Car Collision"

Yes its terrible: the language used in the report is completely neutral! For example, they say: "A collision between a car and a male cyclist..." with no hint of finger-pointing at all.

We think that this sends out the wrong message. Everyone knows that cycling is an extremely dangerous abnormal fringe activity, undertaken at the cyclist's own risk. If someone (and Ford alone knows why they would) chooses to engage in this kind of reckless behaviour, it is their own responsibility to ensure they do not get in the way of the driver of an Aberdeen Car, who is, after all, merely going about their lawful business ensuring a future of prosperous economic growth for all citizens in Aberdeen "City and Shire". And yes, that even includes ungrateful non-contributing citizens like cyclits and pestestrians. See how altruistic and caring the drivers of Aberdeen Cars are?

Amazingly, the report - while stating that the road was closed for over an hour, does not emphasise the serious inconvenience and frustration this will have caused to road-tax-paying motorists who, unlike the ungrateful freebooting cyclits, have paid through the nose for the right to unfettered access to the highway. Nor does the report make any attempt at calculating the cost to the economy incurred, all because a road-tax-dodging cyclit got in the way of the benificent yet hard-pressed driver of an Aberdeen Car and causing what we call "Road Closed Misery".

Road Closed Misery

This is intolerable. We think it's time for some radical intervention and common sense. It was cold and frosty in Aberdeen on the day of the incident, and the sun is very low in the sky at this time of year. There is literally no reason for people to be riding bicycles in this sort of weather and environment. FACT. Hey greenies! It's winter! Why-oh-why are you cycling? If you can't afford a nice car, or even the bus fare, just give yourself time to walk to your destination.

As a matter of fact, we propose that it should be against the law to ride a bicycle on City and Shire streets during the winter time. The pro-environment people who insist on showing off by riding bicycles are putting their own adherents at risk and increasing the chances of accidents where they otherwise would not happen. It's time to bring this madness to an end once and for all.

We can understand that cycling in the summer is a nice, pleasant family pastime. In the public park, for instance, and well away from busy important traffic. You put your bike on a rack on the tailgate of your Range Rover and drive to your chosen cycling recreational venue. Then you cycle round and round for a bit, then you put the bike back on the rack and drive home. A lovely day out, a holiday or weekend hobby. But we just can't see why anyone would be cycling on a cold day like today. It's perverse, it's masochistic, and it's offensive that these people should be rubbing our busy important hard-pressed noses in it. We'd like to see it being made, literally, into an offence. These people need saving from themselves. The super new Big Society government is all for minimum intervention and lawmaking, looking to devolve power down to the lowest possible political level, so perhaps we can look for our local council to introduce a by-law to ban winter cycling in Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Now, don't get us wrong, we're delighted to read that the cyclist's injuries were not life-threatening (we're not callous monsters!) But, we were horrified that the STV News report made no mention of the damage which will have been done to the car. Neither did the report mention whether or not the cyclit was wearing a helmet.

All in all, very poor journalism. We begin to suspect that STV, in common with other elements of the local press, are acting with an anti-car bias and agenda.

Don't they know that the War on Motorists is over?

MORE BAD NEWS for Aberdeen Cars.

What is it with that Phillip Hammond? No sooner does he declare an end to the War on Motorists, than his government put up VAT, petrol tax, and inflation. It'll be interest rates next.

Hard pressed motorists are faced with some difficult choices. Spending money on essentials like filling the tank is of course sacrosanct, so other areas of expenditure will have to 'take the hit'. Clothes, food, toothpase and books are now unaffordable luxuries - we don't really need these things, but we do really need to drive around in the car.

But worse than all this, we learned that Aberdeen transport is hitting the headlines internationally, but for all the wrong reasons. Our undercover agents deep within the socialist/green cycling conspiracy community alerted us to this piece of news on the filthy pro-cycling agitation website "Copenhagenize", the misguided (or more likely, malicious) writers of which try to force their aim of "building better bicycle cultures" (whatever that means) onto the transport systems of the English speaking world, where we already have cars. Which are better than bicycles. Duh! We don't need bicycles! We have already upgraded!

Anyhow, here's what our snitches reported:

Link:
International Bicycle Infrastructure: Aberdeen

The post features this video which was shot on the Westhill Cycleway.



The video contains the caption "It's like being in Holland".

Well, yes. If you think that cycling is big, clever and a viable alternative to the car, then you must be on drugs. Just like being in Holland!

This provides unequivocal proof that all cyclists are drug-addled hippies. You can see them, in the video.

PaveParker of the Week! SV06XNL

Congratulations to the driver of Aberdeen Car reg. SV06XNL. You are PaveParker of the Week!


Yes indeed, the driver of Aberdeen Car Volkwagen Golf Plus (oooh!) 1.9 SE TDI PD gets this weeks plaudits.

What really drew our eye was the innovative use of the traffic-calming (and driver-enraging) sleeping-policeman thingie. These are land-mines used against us by the dark anti-car forces in their ongoing war-on-the-motorist.

But, the cunning driver of this Aberdeen Car turns this blatantly anti-motorist measure to his or her advantage, using it as a ramp to gain level access to the pavement at the new-ish Woodlands at Pitfodels exclusive, aspirational, upscale housing development. Marvellous! Trust the innovative drivers of Aberdeen Cars to turn defeat into a resounding victory!

(We note that a WVM has used a similar method in order to execute essential services further up the road, so this method is spreading. It must be a bit like morphic resonance.)

We notice that the non-standard sign attached to the lamp-post says "Slow, Children at Play" and this worries us. Firstly, we're worried that it implies that around this part of town the parents let their children run around willy nilly unsupervised in the outside world. Disgusting. These children might brush against the nice car, scratch or dent it, and thus render it less nice. Thank goodness that the altruistic driver of SV06XNL is doing his or her best to discourage children from playing outside by demonstrating that there is simply no safe place for them in the outside world. Not on the road and certainly not on the pavement either. As everyone should now know, these spaces in the urban environment are for cars only. Children belong inside, in their rooms, with their video games.

When they grow up, then they can look forward to getting out and about in a nice car, like the good Ford intended.

BAD NEWS for Aberdeen Cars in the Press and Journal

A Horrifying Report in our local newspaper, the Press and Journal.

Apparently, traffic on our major city routes is at its lowest for years and years. In some cases traffic levels have dropped to a paltry volume not seen since 1995. We find this news both distressing and confusing. And a not a little suspicious.

Firstly, as everyone knows, more cars on more roads is the only way to ensure future prosperity for Aberdeen "City and Shire". So, if the trend is for fewer cars on the roads, this suggests that all is lost in the battle for the future. All this despite our best efforts and those of our colleagues. It's just not fair!

The A956 Inner Ring Road.
It's quiet; too quiet.

But secondly, we're suspicious of the Press and Journal's motivations for initially seeking out this information and then reporting it in such sensational terms. We have to point out that the Press and Journal is owned by DC Thomson. Of Dundee. Can it be a coincidence that our artist-loving rival city is instrumental in providing this downbeat picture of Aberdeen? We know that, having missed out on the oil bonanza of the last 30 years they have an axe to grind and have a vested interest in seeing Aberdeen fail. That they should stoop so low as to bad-mouth our level of traffic is disgusting. Busy roads means that lots of aspirational people in nice cars are going about their nationally-important business with alacrity. When the envious Dundonians suggest that Aberdeen's traffic is in decline they are guilty of suggesting that Aberdeen is becoming less important. How dare they!

The report suggests that the eco-warrior cyclists and train-lovers are winning in the war on the motorist, despite Philip Hammond's declaration that the war on the motorist was over! What's going on? This cannot stand! We must resist!

Not that we believe the quoted figures anyway, but nevertheless we call on all drivers of Aberdeen Cars to get out and about and drive around as much as possible as badly as possible and cause as much congestion as possible. Only by reversing this (dubious) reported decline in Aberdeen's motoring figures can we be sure that the No 1 Hope for the Future - The AWPR Aberdeen Bypass - is delivered along with other big-ticket road-infrastructure projects for the city such as the Berryden Urban Dual Carriagway,  the 3rd Don Crossing and the Union Terrace Undgerground Car-Park. This is no time for complacency. So we say "Is your journey really necessary?" Whether the answer is yes or no, you MUST use the car!

So, a dubious article which very rudely talks down Aberdeen and talks down the drivers of Aberdeen Cars. All with an agenda behind it. We resist the implications of this article and we cannot believe it's premise and conclusions. And even if we did, we're with the readers who have posted comments to the article's web page. Busses cause congestion. FACT. Bus lanes must be scrapped. END OF.

More 'Road Closed' Misery

Anyone who repeatedly drives from the north of Aberdeen to the south and back again or vice-versa twice a day to and from their very important, essential job will surely - and quite rightly - be outraged by the nonsensical closure of this key link-road which used to join Kingswells and the Skene Road to Bucksburn and the A96 Trunk road.

Just because a new road was built round the outside of the burgeoning 1980's Kingswells new-build suburb that's surely no reason for the council-in-all-their-wisdom to shut down this existing and perfectly good road. It would make a great rat-run for drivers-in-the-know. It's got a lovely camber and curve to it - imagine dropping a gear and roaring round that corner like Tiff Needell! It'd be just like being in a car advert! Isn't that what everyone wants?

But instead - as hard-pressed VIP tax-farmed motorists fume and fulminate in the gridlock at the Fourmile roundabout and at the Newhills junction - this perfectly good road bridging the Bucksburn lies unused. Unused that is except for dog-walkers, cyclists and schoolkids - none of whom (we needn't point out to regular readers) pay road tax and so none of whom count as road-users. So why are they allowed to use this road, then? It's got streetlights and everything. It makes us sick to see these free-loading non-productive tax-avoiding non-contributing subsidy-junkies laughing at us as they use this road and other routes like it as if they were private roads - just for them.


Who's paying for it then? Who except the tax-paying long-suffering hard-pressed motorist? Oh yes, it's time for a re-think about this stretch of road. It should be re-opened immediately. Oh, and the bypass must be built straightaway.

The very worst thing about this closed section of road is that, when it's used by pedestrians, horseriders, cyclists and other unimportant subsidised people, it gives them the impression that it's actually safe to walk, or cycle or ride a horse. It makes them think that it's a nice thing to do. It makes them feel all cosseted and clever. Well, they're not, they're just showing off, trying to be "different". Everyone knows that these activities are dangerous. Anyway, cyclehelmets make you look stupid and walking makes you look poor.


For their own good, these people need to be shown the error of their ways. The sooner their little 'hobbies' are stamped out, and the sooner they learn to conform with the vast majority of people who's transport choice actually contributes to society and the exchequer, the safer they'll be and the better it'll be for everyone. The sooner these misguided folk get about in safe, warm, nice cars, the happier they'll be and everyone will be able to tell how much money they've got at-a-glance. They should stop kidding themselves and the authorities should stop closing perfectly good roads like this - it only encourages them; humoring their stupid delusions of fitness and fun and freedom and cheap active transport. Roads are for tax-paying cars (and vans) - nobody else. OK?

Motorism Will Prevent Drought.

The greenie hippies and other War on the Motorist crusaders are always banging on about global warming and trying to make hard-pressed motorists feel guilty about getting about using the transport choice of their convenience and free choice.

Well, firstly, let us point out that anyone who lives in Aberdeen "City and Shire" would be perfectly reasonably within their rights to think that a bit of warming would be a good thing. Particularly today! Brrrr!

Secondly, when the hippies say that global warming will lead to drought, what they're forgetting is that "By the time the AWPR [Aberdeen bypass] is built, new car tailpipe emissions will almost certainly be nothing but pure water." That's according to our authoritative source at Granite Chips.

So, if we all drive more when the bypass opens in 2012, we'll solve the drought problem that the hippy vegetarian greenies say that global warming will cause. Not that global warming exists anyway - it's just an excuse to tax us more.