PaveParker of the Week! WVM Citroen Berlingo SK05YXS

Snapped on our very own "Boulevard of the North" - Aberdeen's world famous Union Street - this week's Pave Parker of the week is the WVM driver of Aberdeen Van Citroen Berlingo reg. SK05YXS. Congratulations!


By (1) doing the "double-yellow straddle", (2) parking on the pavement, and - most importantly - (3) blocking the hated cycle lane, the driver of this Aberdeen Van has pulled off "The Triple" on our grand-processional main street. As all good Aberdonians know, Union Street was built in the early 19th century and is suspended above the remains of medieval streets below by arches which make it the world's first (or second?) flyover. Shame we can't repeat that civil engineering triumph elsewhere, for instance at the Haudagain Roundabout - recently voted "the worst thing in the world" by the drivers of Aberdeen Cars - for many of us, the logic of a flyover seems inescapable.

We'd normally e-mail the driver's employees so that he can be singled out for special praise by his bosses. But, in this case, we can't, because, being a proper WVM (albeit in a little white van) there are no company markings or livery to be seen on this white van. So we can't be sure whether he's conducting business at Redline Discount World or the British Heart Foundation charity shop. It can't be the Oddbins he's in, because their business model failed earlier in the spring. Perhaps he's here to erect a "To Let or For Sale" sign.

Flashing the "exempts" in celebration - Yes! It's our PaveParker of the Week!

Aberdeen Needs A Bypass for SW10BCU and W201HSS

The above video demonstrates that so great has traffic volume become in the city centre and so intense has the pressure become on the drivers of Aberdeen Cars to provide the necessary economic growth to lead UK plc out of recession that somethings gotta give!

And yes, we can actually understand and sympathise with the pestestrians who we're told feel intimidated when a busy important motorists bend the rules just a little like this, when the "green man" (who he?) is about to come "on". We can only sympathise a little bit, though, because these people only have themselves to blame. If only they were cleverer, worked harder, had more money, were nicer etc, then they could have a nice car and feel all safe and prioritized at Holburn Junction.

Yes we have sympathy (although our sympathy is evaporating a little with each frown, each flap of the hands, each arrogant gesture from these people - why don't they just get their act together and get a car?). Ideally, cars should stop at red lights. But, when there is no by-pass round Aberdeen, there is no alternative but to jump red lights when commuting. That is simple fact.

Which leads us to hope that these self same moaning arrogant pedestrian people are not among the ranks of people who are opposing and delaying the AWPR with court orders and other such nonsense.

If they are, I have a simple message: You can’t have it both ways!

Either you help expedite a by-pass, or you have to accept red light jumping in the city centre. As demonstrated by the drivers of Aberdeen Cars SW10BCU and W201HSS.

No no, First Bus - you use YOUR head!

We were really horrified and angry when, as we were sat inching forward in the heavy congestion on Aberdeen's world famous Union Street yesterday, a bus drove past us in the bus lane with this advert stuck on the back.

(Well, that's not the actual advert - obviously. We're not quite as good at taking photos while driving as some of the other drivers of Aberdeen Cars!)

Anyway, we felt affronted and insulted by this outrageous insult. How dare First Bus tell me to "use my head"! Are they suggesting that the driver of Aberdeen Cars are ignorant? Are they suggesting that the occupants of the bus (usually DSS-ville or student-land bound) are somehow cleverer than me? I would like to point out that if they think that these freeloaders are so clever, where is their nice car? Eh? Where? Come on, where is it? And where is their road-tax disk? "No pay, no say!"

What these First Bus people fail to realise is that most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people like them expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating bus lanes and the like for freeloading poor people.

Many people in Aberdeen invest a lot of time and money in their cars, This is a natural way of gaining respect from those who will see them in their nice cars with cherished plates. To spoil this effect (e.g. when freeloaders overtake them in a bus) understandably infuriates the drivers of these nice cars - the drivers of Aberdeen Cars.

So, let's get Aberdeen moving, let's do the only sensible thing we can. Scrap the bus lanes. What are we waiting for?


Edit:

What's particularly gauling is that First Bus have proably paid some oh-so-clever PR outfit to come up with this insulting advert. Don't they know that you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? That's why we do nothing but offer praise to the drivers of Aberdeen Cars in our efforts to get them to join our our popular campaign to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriageway!" ('like' us on FaceBook, 'follow' us on Twitter)

Going Stockholm in the City Centre

We've mentioned in the past that we're getting a bit worried about our deep cover agent "Codename JannieJumbo" who provides us with intelligence from deep within the 'cycling activist fraternity' in Aberdeen "City and Shire". We think he has "turned". To the dark side.

In this latest video which he's provided us with, he's seen speeding through the City on his bicyle much faster than any tax-paying car could manage. In the video, our so-called agent traverses the entirity of the city centre, from Queens Cross to the Castlegate in 5 minutes flat!

We don't think this is fair. The bus/bike lanes should be abolished at once and made available for hard-pressed tax-paying motorists to use. After all, we paid for 'em!