BP06FFV - Blind Rage

Terrible. How inconsiderate. Really shocking. She must have been petrified. How awful for the driver of this Aberdeen Car reg. BP06FFV who must have been terrified that the blind woman would bump into her nice car, running the risk of scratching it and thus rendering it less nice.


We were pleased to note that the driver chose to repeatedly rev her engine loudly to assertively warn off the reckless selfish blind woman and her aggressive "status dog". Very well done.

PaveParker of the Week, SV59VZN

It's great to see that the drivers of Aberdeen Cars are prepared to fight back against the many threats to PaveParking which we reported on on Monday. That's why we were gratified to see this splendid best-practice display of Full PaveParking on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road.

Yes indeed the driver of this Aberdeen Car, a lovely white Vauxhall Corsa reg SV59VZN is fighting back against the so-called politically correct brigade by parking fully on the pavement outside 165 Broomhill Road. This marginalises pedestrians and serve them right too. What do they think they're doing anyway, walking about on Broomhill Road? There's a school nearby, so seeing adults walking about is definitely suspicious. Isn't it? All the more reason to take any measure necessary to prove to these weirdos that they're just not wanted here.

So congratulations to the driver of Aberdeen Car reg. SV59VZN, you are this week's PaveParker of the Week for services to the eradication of pedestrians from the streets of Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Careless Cyclist Forces Innocent Drivers to Risk License Endorsement Points

Checking the dead letter drop-box behind the "This Roundabout is Sponsored by Talisman Energy" sign on the roundabout at the junction between Aberdeen's Great Southern Road and Holburn Street, we found this video had been left for us by our filthy duplicitous double agent "Codename JannieJumbo", operating, as he does, from behind his deep cover legend as a so-called "activist" within what is laughably called the Aberdeen cycling "community".




Bloody hell! Did you see that? This careless cyclist's behaviour on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road was so awful that it not only did it cause the driver of the Renault Clio reg CF53DNH to choose an inappropriate spot for an overtaking maneuver, break the speed limit, swerve alarmingly and risk crashing into oncoming vehicles, but it also forced the driver of the second, blue VW Passat to risk penalty points and a fine by making him (as you've seen, forcing him to) execute a pointless close-pass overtaking maneuver in the vicinity of a T-junction.

"But - hold on!" we hear you exclaim. "What was it that was so reckless about this cyclist's behaviour? - I've looked at the video, and the cyclist seems to have done nothing wrong..." And that's true up to a point, because what the video cannot show is the privileged information we have access to through our contact with "Codename JannieJumbo".

That information is the fact that this cyclist was not wearing a high-visibility tabard at the time. (Thus absolving the blameless motorists of any and all liability for their actions.)

PaveParker of the Week! WVM SW07DTF

Congratulations to this week's PaveParker of the Week, the White Van Man driver of Aberdeen Van reg. SW07DTF who has used the dropped kerb facility to enable the "Double-yellow Straddle" on the corner of Aberdeen's Broomhill Road and Balmoral Place.

It's not quite as exciting as the examples of Cornerish Parking shown by our mentors at Bristol Traffic, but we should congratulate our local WVM of the North for showing willing at least.

PaveParker of the Week! WVM V482DSE

Even though his van is not white (it is blue) the driver of Aberdeen Van V482DSE is clearly a white van man, for he is this week's PaveParker of the Week! Hooray!


Fully PaveParked up on the textured dropped kerb on the corner of Aberdeen's Balmoral Place and Broomhill Road we were particularly drawn to this PaveParker's use of his hazards, or 'exempts' as they have come to be known.

Yes, this altruistic PaveParker is very much safety conscious - acting as a big obvious safety barrier for poor pestestrians. Making them stop, think carefully, plan their route and take great care as they go round the big blue van. Like one of those chicanes or sleeping policemen, but for pestestrians. Slows 'em down. Makes 'em think.

As we all know, going outside is a special activity, requiring special planning. WVM V482DSE also confirms what we already know: it's dangerous - pestestrians had betterwatchout! The subtle subliminal message is - don't walk about! It's far to dangerous and challenging! If you can't afford a nice car - you can always get a second-hand van!

And the flashing 'exempts' warn blind people of this too.

Exciting PaveParking Special WN51LWS - 'The Weekender'

Regular visitors to the Aberdeen Cars blog will know that Wednesday is our regular 'PaveParker of the Week' slot, and this most recent week we broke the format by awarding a 'PaveParking Location' award.

Well, we recieved a few complaints, and have decided to rectify matters by awarding a special discretional award, the "Weekender PaveParker". This award goes to the driver of this Aberdeen Car spotted parking on the pavement of Aberdeen's Broomhill Road outside the recently re-branded and re-launched 'Cafe au Clay' (formerly The Ceramic Experience).

So we congratulate our first 'Weekender PaveParker'; the driver of Aberdeen Car Fiat Brava hatchback '80' (?) reg. WN51LWS who demonstrates that double-yellow lines are advisory only (particularly at the weekend), that pavements and pedestrian-build-outs provide demand responsive emergency parking, that accesibility dropped-kerbs assist the PaveParking maneuver and that, when it comes to child safety, the safety of one's own child is greatly more important than the safety of everyone else's - particularly those who might be using the pavement. We all know that pedestrians demonstrate their lack of importance in the most evident way possible - by not being in a nice car.

Thanks very much for that, WN51LWS! We think you're just great!

PaveParker of the Week! X13KYM

The driver of Aberdeen Car Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro 240 S Line (oooh!) 5dr Tiptronic (oooooh!) Reg. X13KYM is this week's PaveParker of the Week! Yippee!


The driver of this lovely car (with that extensive parade of numbers and letters in its name, signifying the driver's imporance) has shunned the other parking spaces available across Aberdeen's Abergeldie Road near to Aberdeen's Broomhill Primary School in favour of the opportunity to put his heavy SUV up on the kerb and straddle the double-yellows.

This is selfless. He is running the risk of getting a ticket from the hated wardens, so we applaud his philanthropic willingness to sacrifice a few quid in favour of the greater societal good:

• The location is close to a primary school. Therefore, what few kids there are left walking to and from that school will have to take very extra special care when they try to cross Abergeldie Road. Our PaveParker of the Week's big Audi Q7 obscures the sightlines of both the children trying to cross and of any motor vehicle coming up the road towards them at the tee junction. This will teach the kids an important lesson. Walking to school is a very dangerous activity for losers only. For your own sake get your mum or dad to drive you there. If you're too poor for your mum or dad to have a lovely big safe car to drive you to school in - have you considered wearing a helmet? Have you considered getting social services involved? You should report your parents to them for making you walk.
• By daintily putting his wheels up on the kerb, our selfless PaveParker of the Week is also sending out the message that the pavements are ours too - this is a statement of intent aimed politely and daintily at the few remaining pestestrians on our streets. It's well past time they got themselves a car.
• The driver of this super big Aberdeen Car is PaveParked straddling the double-yellows in a position where he can undertake informal surveillance of his pride and joy without having to get up off of his living-room sofa as he watches TV while eating his takeaway chip supper. This cuts down on crime - what with all the common on-street parking problems these days.
• It is a lovely big car isn't it? That's why the driver of this Aberdeen Car so loves to leave it straddling the double yellows - PaveParked where he can see it from his livingroom. It gives him a warm glow inside. As we already pointed out, in its name, this super big SUV has all those letters and numbers which make the owner's importance quite clear. Firstly, they make the owner's importance quite clear to all those around him, but secondly - and more importantly - they make the owner's importance all the clearer to him himself. This is important, for it builds on his 'cycle of confidence'. As he surveys his importance - displayed outside on the junction, on the pavement, straddling the double-yellows - the driver of this Aberdeen Car has his self-image boosted, his confidence bolstered, his rightful place in the world confirmed. This means that tomorrow - when he goes to work - he will be all the more likely to throw his (not inconsiderable) weight around and demand that his underlings 'perform' to a standard suitable for generating the economic growth which is necessary for Aberdeen "City and Shire" to lead the way in pulling the rest of UK 'plc' out of recession.

PaveParker of the Week! SV06LEU

Congratulations to this week's PaveParker of the Week! Using the pestestrian build-out on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road, the driver of Aberdeen Car Vauxhaul Astra Hatchback 1.6i 16V "Life" (oooh!) Reg. SV06LEU demonstrates that his journey is vital to the economic future of Aberdeen "City and Shire".



Yes, by crossing the double-yellows and butting right up against the "No Parking At Any Time" sign, the clever driver of this Aberdeen Car shows us he knows that, being special and important, it is up to him (or her) to decide where and how to park. He or she knows that the pestestrian build outs are actually demand-responsive emergency parking bays, set aside for the busy motorist to use if the exigencies of his or her busy lifestyle or work-of-national-importance demand it.


We were very excited when we noticed that this demand-responsive emergency parking bay had been pressed into use by the driver of this very nice Aberdeen Car. We must assume that they were on a mission the outcome of which would dictate the success or otherwise of the economy of Aberdeen "City and Shire" and therefore that of UK plc as a whole.

We hope it turned out OK!

PaveParker of the Week! Wrights Catering YY05HFW

Congratulations to this week's PaveParker of the week, spotted outside the wee shoppie on the corner of Aberdeen's Broomhill Road and Balmoral Place.


Full PaveParking, PaveParkvertising. It's all pure PaveParking magic from Wrights Catering as they use the dropped kerb and pedestrian build-out at the junction to facilitate this highly accomplished anti-pedestrian maneuver.

Check out their delivery terms at www.wrightscatering.co.uk - they offer a free office delivery service, catering to the needs of the busy cubicle-bound drivers of Aberdeen Cars as they desk-dine their way to finding a way to hopfully trying to create some ideas which will generate some much-needed economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Judging by how many of the flatted properties around the area pictured are "to let" it looks like economic growth is really very much required! If Wright's Catering and the like continue with their economic-growth generating motoring activities, we'll surely see those "to let" signs turning back into "for sale" signs soon! Here's hoping!


So we thank Wright's Catering - we thank them for supporting the drivers of Aberdeen Cars in their quest for an economic future, and we thank them for their pro-property anti-pedestrian activities in the west end of town. This sends out all the right messages and demonstrates that Aberdeen is one city which really knows where it's going.

Essential Services - Richard Irvine Building Services.

Now that winter's nearly over, it's time to get all those bits and pieces of building maintenance done. So builders, roofers and the like are rushed off their feet, busy dotting around Aberdeen "City and Shire" in their little vans, creating some much needed economic growth.

And, into the bargain, the drivers of Richard Irvine's little red vans aren't averse to pushing home the essential anti-pestestrian message as they go about their business. PaveParkVertising on Broomhill Road puts the pestestrians in their place, while promoting your employer's business. A dual-use strategy! Brilliant!

We spotted this next Richard Irvine Building Services Van on Aberdeen's Cattofield Place, where it joins Back Hilton Road, just across from the Hilton Chipper.

We actually watched aghast as the driver parked on the corner, blocking the dropped kerb and restricting pestestrian access to the junction as he dashed across the road for a lunchtime "chip supper" (these builder types have to keep their strength up!). 

But yes we were horrified. Horrified because he has parked on double yellows and he forgot to flash his hazards "exempts".

This is all very disappointing because, according to Richard Irvine's website:

Seamlessly linked together, divisional synergy optimises our ability to offer a wide range of customised packages to meet clients precise demands. Uniquely delivered and controlled from a single source, our multi-disciplined resources combine to produce a dedicated client service that allows strategic objectives to be timeously achieved.

What with all that strategically optimised synergy and uniquely seamless resources, you'd have thought that the driver would have remembered to do deliver the job with proper dedication and switch on his "exempts". We have informed his employers of this lapse. Timeously. 

PaveParker of the Week! DS09YND

Congratulations are due to this week's PaveParker of the Week!

Yes, the driver of Aberdeen Car Vauxhaull Insignia 2.0 CDTi SRi Nav 160 (note the stream of numbers and letters which denote importance) demonstrates advanced PaveParking technique on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road, outside the Europcar National car hire agency.

1. Use of the dropped kerb to facilitate PaveParking
2. It is a restricted waiting zone, with a single yellow line. But to discharge this, the driver has activated the hazards exempts.
3. The driver is engaged in philanthropic educational activity.

It's that third item - philantrhopic educational activity - which is the greatest boon to Aberdeen "City and Shire" and so this the reason why this driver is our PaveParker of the Week!

Do you see the young mother, struggling to get the pushchair past the PaveParked vehicle on her way to the shops (which are on the other side of the sea of cars negotiating the mini-roundabout)?

Yes, that's the lesson for this young child, this baby Aberdonian:

"Welcome to life! Welcome to Aberdeen! City of cars where the pavements are for losers. Grow up fast, kid - and then you'll be able to get yourself a nice wee car and leave your days of pavement use behind."

PaveParker of the Week! G3PPS

They say that schooldays are the happiest days of your life. Fun, companionship, the making of lifelong friends all combined with the foundation of knowledge that stands us in good stead throughout our journey through life.

That's why we were so pleased to see extra-curricular lessons in life being taught very close to Aberdeen's Broomhill Primary School on Broomhill Road.



Yes indeed, the driver of Aberdeen Car Land Rover Freelander 2.0 "Freestyle" (oooh!) reg. G3PPS is quite the philanthropist and has a special interest in the correct development of our young folk in Aberdeen "City and Shire".

This worthy winner of our PavePlarker of the week accolade is being sure to teach the children this invaluable lesson:

"Walking to school is for losers; cars have precedence, even on the pavements. When you're old enough, you too will be able to stamp your superiority on the streets of Aberdeen "City and Shire" by getting yourself a nice car and parking it wherever you like." 

Correct Street User Hierarchy: Demonstration Attempt by SV02ETU

We have noticed that in the unfortunately ongoing War on Motorists, Scotland has become "Travel-Plan-Daft-Land" where all attempts are made to force cars to the bottom of a supposed "road user hierarchy", below pedestrians, cyclists, public transport etc etc.

In the newish Scottish Government Policy Document "Designing Streets" (pdf) the needs of the hard-pressed motorist are all-but ignored, subsumed beneath the lesser transport modes, all in the name of promoting "a sense of place" and "liveable streets" . Whatever that means.

Thank goodness the down-to-earth drivers of Aberdeen Cars are too busy creating economic growth to worry about such flim-flam. Here, this video (shot using the handlebarcam of our undercover agent - Codename JannieJumbo - embedded deep within the naysaying cycling community) shows the driver of Aberdeen Car Seat Ibiza reg. SV02ETU establishing the correct hierarchy of road users: Cars before bikes!



We are, however, getting a bit worried about Codename JannieJumbo. As shown by the footage at the tail-end of the video, he appears to be falling prey to Stockholm syndrome.

Our Call to Ban Winter Cycling

We were very disappointed to read a report on STV's news website

"Cyclist Injured in Car Collision"

Yes its terrible: the language used in the report is completely neutral! For example, they say: "A collision between a car and a male cyclist..." with no hint of finger-pointing at all.

We think that this sends out the wrong message. Everyone knows that cycling is an extremely dangerous abnormal fringe activity, undertaken at the cyclist's own risk. If someone (and Ford alone knows why they would) chooses to engage in this kind of reckless behaviour, it is their own responsibility to ensure they do not get in the way of the driver of an Aberdeen Car, who is, after all, merely going about their lawful business ensuring a future of prosperous economic growth for all citizens in Aberdeen "City and Shire". And yes, that even includes ungrateful non-contributing citizens like cyclits and pestestrians. See how altruistic and caring the drivers of Aberdeen Cars are?

Amazingly, the report - while stating that the road was closed for over an hour, does not emphasise the serious inconvenience and frustration this will have caused to road-tax-paying motorists who, unlike the ungrateful freebooting cyclits, have paid through the nose for the right to unfettered access to the highway. Nor does the report make any attempt at calculating the cost to the economy incurred, all because a road-tax-dodging cyclit got in the way of the benificent yet hard-pressed driver of an Aberdeen Car and causing what we call "Road Closed Misery".

Road Closed Misery

This is intolerable. We think it's time for some radical intervention and common sense. It was cold and frosty in Aberdeen on the day of the incident, and the sun is very low in the sky at this time of year. There is literally no reason for people to be riding bicycles in this sort of weather and environment. FACT. Hey greenies! It's winter! Why-oh-why are you cycling? If you can't afford a nice car, or even the bus fare, just give yourself time to walk to your destination.

As a matter of fact, we propose that it should be against the law to ride a bicycle on City and Shire streets during the winter time. The pro-environment people who insist on showing off by riding bicycles are putting their own adherents at risk and increasing the chances of accidents where they otherwise would not happen. It's time to bring this madness to an end once and for all.

We can understand that cycling in the summer is a nice, pleasant family pastime. In the public park, for instance, and well away from busy important traffic. You put your bike on a rack on the tailgate of your Range Rover and drive to your chosen cycling recreational venue. Then you cycle round and round for a bit, then you put the bike back on the rack and drive home. A lovely day out, a holiday or weekend hobby. But we just can't see why anyone would be cycling on a cold day like today. It's perverse, it's masochistic, and it's offensive that these people should be rubbing our busy important hard-pressed noses in it. We'd like to see it being made, literally, into an offence. These people need saving from themselves. The super new Big Society government is all for minimum intervention and lawmaking, looking to devolve power down to the lowest possible political level, so perhaps we can look for our local council to introduce a by-law to ban winter cycling in Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Now, don't get us wrong, we're delighted to read that the cyclist's injuries were not life-threatening (we're not callous monsters!) But, we were horrified that the STV News report made no mention of the damage which will have been done to the car. Neither did the report mention whether or not the cyclit was wearing a helmet.

All in all, very poor journalism. We begin to suspect that STV, in common with other elements of the local press, are acting with an anti-car bias and agenda.

Don't they know that the War on Motorists is over?

Enlightened motoring in Broomhill

Mr Cameron's Big Society proceeds apace in Aberdeen "City and Shire". It's great that this spirit of self-empowerment has spread to the hard-pressed drivers of Aberdeen Cars - why should they allow petty officialdom's stupid rules like "red light means stop" stand in their way? They're Busy! They're Important! The Big Society says they can do as they please, dependent upon how important they deem themselves to be. And in this town, the drivers rightly deem themselves to be very important indeed!

In any case, they're definately more important than some automatic petty traffic control robot (the traffic lights.) Gotta get home in time for the Simpsons!

Stupid Keep Left Sign? Just Ignore It like H11YOU did!

One of the great things about living today with the thrilling unrolling of Mr Cameron's "Big Society" is the self-empowerment it grants to the citizens of our fine country.

The drivers of Aberdeen Cars are taking full advantage of this rolling-back of the state by awarding themselves the power to ignore traffic signs and restrictions which they don't agree with.

Who is best placed to decide what is appropriate and safe? The driver at street level, or the bureaucrat behind his desk?

Here we see Camilla Parker-Bowles lookalike driver of Aberdeen Car Mitsubushi Shogun reg. H11YOU quite rightly deciding that the Keep Left sign near to Anderson Drive on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road is inappropriately placed. So she just ignores it. What use are pestestrian refuges to her anyway? What use are buses and bus stops? These things and people are just in her way.

SnowParking Roundup

Now that the festive season's over, and the snow and ice have cleared, it's time to take a moment to find out what lessons the drivers of Aberdeen Cars can learn from weather like this. I bet the clever entrepreneurs of Aberdeen can turn this to their advantage!

Parking Restrictions. Frozen! Hoora!

PaveParking is of course something that the drivers of Aberdeen Cars do as a matter of course anyway. Particularly in the upscale West End of the city. However, during the winter months, the clever PaveParkers of the West End provide an extra benefit by actually saving our hard-pressed council precious funds. You see, the PaveParkers actually prevent the gritting and clearing of pavements all over that prestigious district. This is People Power. This is the Big Society: We don't want or need the pavements to be gritted, so we use the means at our disposal to prevent it.

Indeed, why should our council devote precious resources to subsidising the unimportant feckless road-tax-dogding pestestrians? These freeloaders infuriate us with their refusal to contribute to economic growth and pay their way; pay their share with road tax, petrol tax, extra VAT, parking charges, and all the rest. These pestestrians are unimportant, they do not deserve our subsidy. If they were important, they'd be able to afford a nice car, and wouldn't need to waste the council's money on having the pavement gritted, or indeed maintained in any way.

The clever PaveParkers of Aberdeen Cars are doing us all a favour by showing these pestestrians just where they stand in the socioeconomic pecking order, and by freeing up precious roadspace so that the infinitely more important, hard-pressed, busy, clever and responsible motorists can enjoy the benefits of better traffic flow, which, as everyone knows, is the predominant source of economic growth and prosperity.

So, PaveParking is to be encouraged whenever possible. But those new to PaveParking mustn't get carried away. Please don't go too far, the pestestrians might "CarriageWalk".

Pavement? What Pavement?

If the snow conceals the double yellow lines, that means you can park wherever you like. Close to junctions, on the zig-zags, wherever. The No Parking signs don't count when there's snow on the ground. Obviously.

So. Let's look forward to more snow during the remainder of the winter. We just love the parking free-for-all which it implies for the drivers of Aberdeen Cars.

PaveParker of the Week! S5AXX

A Happy New Year to all drivers of Aberdeen Cars! We start the year as we intend it to continue with a prime example of Full PaveParking on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road.



The driver of Aberdeen Car Blue Mercedes Benz M-Class Station Wagon ML500 Sport Tiptronic (oooh!) Auto reg. S5AXX with its 5 litre engine knows how to demonstrate his or her place in the hierarchy of public-space use. With a car like that, it's clearly at the very top! The driver of this Aberdeen Car is clearly At The Top of His or Her Game.

This should make the pestestrian think. Careful not to scratch this fine piece of German automotive engineering with its 5 litre engine, the poor pestestrian is forced to consider her place in the big scheme of things. And yes, she is forced to conclude that, even on the pavement, she must give way and give up space to Aberdeen Cars. And quite right too.

We particularly like the way the driver has allowed Just Enough Space for a pestestrian to pass. This inconveniences the pestestrian just enough for the clever driver to establish his or her superiority to the pestestrian, while not inconveniencing the pestestrian quite enough to provoke the radical response which is CarriageWalking. Which isn't allowed. Or shouldn't be.

Fury at CarraigeWalking

Aberdeen City Council's latest anti-pedestrian policy initiative (not clearing the pavements of snow and ice) has, we are furious to report, backfired with upsetting results and serious consequences for public order in our town.

Close to schools (the safety of innocent children - who are our future - being a number one priority) while every snow-and-ice-clearing attention has been lavished, quite rightly, on the car-bearing carriagway, the council has stuck to its guns and refused to do anything about the pavements. This safety-first approach (because walking about the place without brakes, indicators, airbags or anything is as everyone knows, intrinsically dangerous) has rendered the pavement on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road completely unusable. Good. This policy initiative should encourage everyone to join in with the vast majority of folk, and get around in a nice car. It is particularly important that children be discouraged from dangerous walking, particularly in cold weather, when they might catch the sniffles.

Not gritted, not salted, not ploughed.
And quite right too.

But, and it's a big but, while we were initially delighted by this pro-car approach which we thought would finally force the last redoubts of anti-car sentiment to nip out to Arnold Clark and drive off with a seasonal bargain, we regret to say that the law of unintended consequences has struck, and we were today horrified to notice that these last few road-tax-dodging pestestrians who refuse to contribute to the economic growth of the region have adopted a radical new tactic from the anarchists cookbook: RADICAL CARRIAGEWALKING!

Harassed by the rioting anarchist, the elderly couple in the passing car were visibly shaken.

Perhaps emboldened by the student protesters hooligan anarchists thugs who took to the streets in London yesterday, these radical pestestrians have unilaterally occupied the tax-payer-only carriageways of West Aberdeen, striding up the middle of the road and willfully impeding the lawful progress of important hard-pressed motorists as they go about their lawful business on Her Majesty's highway generating much-needed economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Showing no fear (perhaps on drugs?) the snarling rioter faces down the law abiding motorist.
Had the protester tried to touch the car, we might have been forced to ask a policeman to draw his sidearm.

Wildly swinging a placard with its obscene message (which we have been forced to blur with photoshop)
this sneering anarchist scans around for her next victim. 
We were scared she would touch the silver-grey Merc to her left.
Officer, may we suggest you use baton rounds?

Law-flouting pestestrian anarchist ring-leaders look to recruit
the anti-motorist bus-users to their subversive protests...
Send in the horses.

PaveParkVertising!

The drivers of Aberdeen Cars once again show their business acumen and entrepreneurial flair; a talent which might even be good enough for TV's "The Apprentice"!

This time, we're delighted to announce a new development. Yes.

        "PaveParkVertising" 

(Though we are a bit worried that it might be a portmanteau too far.)

The driver of VW Golf 1.4s with Cherished Plate NEZ555 has not only used the PaveParking opportunity afforded by the build-out at the junction between Aberdeen's Pitstruan Place and Broomhill Road, but he has also enhanced his status in the community by taking the chance to promote his enterprise: "3SIXTY - Aberdeen's Premier Student Night". We think that's splendid and we particularly enjoy the use of the word "Premier". How could we expect anything less? As you can see, the club's website rightly acclaims its management as "VIP's" and in some cases even "VVIP's"

We also very much appreciate that our hard-pressed students are being offered drinks from only 90p. In these difficult times, it's great to see that they are being targeted in this way, what with this PaveParkVertising car stationed on the pavement just outside a famous local HMO which is used as a flophouse for students. We've noticed the PaveParkVertising car here before at least once, so we reckon there must be a connection between it and the hard-drinking student occupants of the HMO. We're delighted that there's this business-friendly relationship between student accommodation and the licenced trade, particularly where there's discounted drink on offer, and we'll be sure to mention it on our stakeholder submission next year when the HMO licence comes up for renewal in the neighbourhood.

You see, integrated business opportunities like this are like gold-dust, and must be highlighted so that the next generation of entrepreneurs can find economic activity in and for Aberdeen when the oil runs out in 2014. What with the new city bypass, urban dual-carriageway and city-centre carpark plans and everything, combined with this PaveParkVertising of cheap drink, the future will be assured!

Oh, and we nearly forgot. The way the car is PaveParked, at that jaunty angle, is really cool. Fact.

At a charismatic and jaunty angle.
It's like as if it's in a car-sales brochure or TV advert or something.