Edinburgh Trams Could Be Scrapped

We must congratulate our colleagues at Edinburgh City Council and in the capital's business community for their fabulous Kung Fu in making a total farce and failure of the project to re-install a tram system in the capital.

The constant delays and disruption have succeeded in turning the people of Edinburgh against the tram project, and against public transport bodies in general. Not only that, the management of this project is helping to demonise all public sector initiatives and workers. What a result! Contractor disputes, a skeptical press and an outright hostile motoring lobby have all added up to a now almost completely discredited public works project which had been supposed to deliver 21st century public transport infrastructure [sic]. We reckon this is fantastic work by those figures in the city council, chamber of commerce and city centre traders association who have pulled off this clever coup - and all before a single tram has run on the streets of 'Auld Reekie'!

And now we read in the weekend's newspapers that council chief executive Sue (the) Bruce is preparing to administer the coup-de-grace. With the righteous sword of business indignation in her hand she stands ready to kill the project forever, and with it any hopes of other tram restoration projects across Scotland. We can't tell you how excited we are about this forthcoming victory for the drivers of Edinburgh Cars, and by extention the drivers of all Scotland Cars, especially Aberdeen Cars (of course; because our cars are the nicest, and we have the best and most cherished plates in the country).

Well we remember Sue Bruce and how she put the needs of business first (by prioritising car traffic flow) when she held the chief executive post at Aberdeen City Council. She is much missed, but we're delighted to see her continuing her important pro-car work on the streets of the nation's capital - streets upon which will it soon be safe for the drivers of Edinburgh Cars to speed about, park, and go about their important business - it'll create a real feeling of bustle in the capital, when its streets are full of cars again and the important people get to call the shots once more. For they are the drivers of cars - the fountainhead of economic growth. Trams are for other countries, other countries where they do not prioritise economic growth as much as we do.