More Cars on More Roads Leads To Rome

While some misguided commentators call for Aberdeen to adopt a Northern European model of traffic management, we here at Aberdeen Cars call for a more nuanced approach. You see, the greenie hippies and other War on the Motorist crusaders are always banging on about global warming and trying to make hard-pressed motorists feel guilty about getting about using the transport mode of their convenience and free choice.

Well, firstly, let us point out that anyone who lives in Aberdeen "City and Shire" would be perfectly reasonably within their rights to think that a bit of warming would be a good thing. Particularly this winter! Brrrr!

So if global warming is real (which it isn't! - everyone knows it's just an excuse to tax Britain's beleaguered motorists more and more!) and the climate heats up, we should expect more Mediterranean-style weather. Therefore, we should adopt Southern European models for traffic management - as pointed out in this illustrative, educational and inspiring photograph taken by Bill, Other Aberdeen's Foreign Correspondent, reporting from the streets of Rome.

Dateline Roma

Bill submitted his report by clicking the CitizenContribution hot-link to the left of the page and e-mailing his copy to abedeencars@gmail.com And for that we thank him very much.

As this plucky foreign corespondent's reportage states, both cars in the picture are parked, it was getting near the end of the day and some of the cars had moved off making this parking position look all the more innovative. Note the zebra crossing, the drivers of both cars didn’t - and why should they? The road-space in Roma is rightly theirs to do with as they please.

An interesting aspect of this photo is the so-called 'smart parking' by the Smart Car. At Aberdeen Cars we don't really like smart cars, we think that they are the thin end of a very big environmental wedge. So we're pleased to see the proper car - the 4x4 - blocking it in and teaching the Smart Car's driver an important lesson: "Ooops, sorry, we thought your car was just a bollard. Or maybe a bin."

More Obstacles

Regular readers will know that we've covered the parking options outside the Co-op on Holburn Street once or twice before. Or maybe even three times.


Anyhow, over the last few weeks, in competition to the Co-op, a new 'not normally manned' Tesco Metro outlet has opened on the neighbouring site once occupied by legendary hardware store The Colour Box. A concerned citizen contributer got in touch and asked us to explain the function of the bollards which have since appeared on the pavement outside the new Tesco.

It's obvious to us that the bollards are a disgusting anti-motorist measure placed there as a sop to the filthy hippy vegitarians which the Tesco hopes to attract away from the pinko communist hive of the Co-op next door. These dangerous bollards intimidate the blameless and beleaguered hard-pressed tax-farmed motorist by threatening (as we've covered very recently) to scratch his lovely car should he attempt a PaveParking maneuver, which is, of course, the right of the motorist, particularly in Aberdeen where we are in the vanguard of providing the necessary economic growth which will pull the whole of the UK out of the doldrums.

At least we see the other legitimate use for pavements (other than PaveParking) being well demonstrated in the photo. Yes. Pavements are for bins. Fact.

The Anatomy of the Aberdeen Street.

Lots to see in this photo which demonstrates the anatomy of an Aberdeen Street: in this case, Broomhill Road.

1. Essential Services. The driver of the Aberdeen Van EJZ3361 is performing essential services, so may park with impunity on the single line whenever necessary.
2. PaveParking. Aware that parking on the single line during normal working hours might attract a fine, the driver of this Aberdeen Van mitigates the harm this may cause to traffic flow (and thus economic growth) by PaveParking his way out of the traffic stream.
3. No walking. The pavement is for bins. And temporary signs. And sign stanchions. And all other sorts of urban clutter vital street furniture which supports motor transport.

Quality Streets

Now that Christmas is over, and most of the left-overs eaten, only the least appealing of the Quality Streets are left in the packet here at Bristol Traffic (we've got some Celebrations, but we're hanging on the them for the New Year).

It was the thought of Quality Streets which reminded us of our favourite Bristol example, Gloucester Road. This was the first 'Showcase Bus Route' in the city, and has apparently been a great success - to such an extent that one of the bus-stops near the Prom Club is no longer in service.

Here's a view of this Quality Street, just up from the Prom Club. Note the quality.

We like:

- The Tree. Street trees are good, reflecting proper civic pride.
- The Signage. Important information for motorists is essential.
- The Litter Bin. Vital, with facilities for smokers, too, which is very inclusive.
- The Wheelie Bin. Vital if traders along the road are to survive.
- The Telephone Box. Not everyone has an iPhone, after all.
- The Street Light. Keeps us safe at night.
- The Street Paint. Good for helping us spot the traffic lights, which we also like.

Unfortunately, all this quality is let down by the useless cycle stands, installed as part of the cycling city fiasco. Surely that space could have been used for a decent advertisement display board?

A similar 'Quality Street' scheme is currently proposed for Whiteladies Road. We look forward to it.

Waste of space

Whilst we are always happy to park anywhere we want, there is a downside, as WU58ZFR demonstrates.  This is the Downs, where thankfully no cycling is allowed.

The problem is that if you can park a car on the grass you can also put a bin on the grass, which is a real waste of parking opportunity.

Gated Communities

Some suburban areas are too open to be real gated communities. And the council won't let us close the rat-runs, not even to cyclists.

But to discourage itinerant pedestrians, we can at least take control of the pavements on our own. We're British, after all, and know how to do these things.

Here's our attempt at gating St Oswald's Road. Fairly effective, with the use of 4x4 X953RRN on one side of the road, and KG54YGF - in combination with the bins - on the other.

That's both pavements blocked so only cars can get through unimpeded. Not the perfect solution, but it is a start, at least.