Pickup trucks aren't a Miami vice

BECAUSE I'M guilty of being a newspaper reporter, it's an idea that lots of people have suggested to me. Let's crack down on antisocial behaviour by banning hoodies from town centres at night.

Before you pick your pen in disgust I'd like to say I disagree with the idea. There is, of course, nothing wrong with people who wear hooded tops, and being young and in a town centre after dark is not in itself illegal. Well, it isn't until Lingering With Malicious Intent becomes a bookable offence. Banning things simply because someone doesn't like them is an idiotic idea.

It's the same with pickup trucks, which apparently the good people of Miami now want to ban from the city at night. Under a proposed reenactment of bonkers bylaws dating back to the Sixties, you'll be fined if you're spotted with an example of an all-American icon between 7pm and 7am. Even if it's parked up on your driveway overnight.

Personally, I've never had much truck with pickups; they are the Transits of the American Bible Belt, only worse because your stuff in the back gets wet whenever it rains. They're also, if you've been brought up to think the Land Rover Discovery is a big car, incredibly excessive and a tad wasteful of the world's resources. Pickups - even the really fast ones with pushrod V8 engines - are stupid.

But I wouldn't ban them, because it's a bylaw that boils down to automotive taste and I don't think it's fair to tell hardworking Dolly Parton fans what they can and can't drive, in exactly the same way you shouldn't outlaw Max Powered hot hatches or the Nissan Micra. I'm sure if the local council got wind of this idea they'd slowly ban everything, and we'd all eventually end up being forced to own hybrid hatchbacks.

Banning certain types of car in order to make suburbia look more respectable is one Miami Vice we could definitely do without. The day some jobsworth from the local authority knocks on my door and tells me I'm in breach of their Local Vehicle Bylaws because I own an old MGB is the day I book my plane ticket out of here (but not to Florida). People should be able to pay road tax on whatever they choose.

Having said that, I've always hated the Kia Pride.