suboptimal data collection strategies - or a secret plan to spy on us

A strange sight: four people wearing hi-viz sitting on the St Werbughs crossing of the M32

What are they up to? The "Highways Agency" text on the back gives the game away -they are monitoring traffic flow, with multiple people to independently monitor different lanes,
 
Some questions spring to mind

1. Why hi-viz? Really? It's a pedestrian footpath that some cyclists also use. Unless you have a fear of being run over by one of those two-kid-wide pushchairs, its the safest place in the city to sit. 
2. Counting traffic by hand? Why not just go to the bit of the Highways Agency that collects the ANPR data and use that instead. If you hook the M32 data up with those of the M4W, M4E and M5 feeds, you can even work out where people go to after leaving the M32. As any vehicle not found on those other feeds must have got off at Eastville or the North Fringe, you get those figures for free.

The fact that they aren't using the ANPR data may be sign that the UK Government police-state-on-motorists isn't as all encompassing as the daily mail and daily telegraph warn us of; that there isn't any coverage of the M32 at all. The four people on the footbridge are therefore implicity sharing a secret with us.

That or there is ANPR scanning of every vehicle entering or leaving the city, and those four people are sitting there to pretend that there isn't -they think they are counting traffic but their numbers are being discarded in preference for the machine-collected statistics. Only someone very paranoid would think that. Which is precisely why we suspect it.

Never park up the inside of an HGV

The militant cyclists are saying "It's not our fault that HGVs kill us -they shouldn't be there", and now they even have the Times on their side

We, and our sponsors, Tesco, say "HGVs are needed in our city to deliver an optimised supply chain, if anyone gets run over by one it is their own fault for being on the inside of the vehicle"

This is why a lot of cycle safety training in London is dedicated to make it clear to people on bikes that they are invisible from a cab of an HGV, so should never go up alongside them, or end up in an ASL in front of one.

We have another group of people who need to be better educated.

Take this road, St Werburgh's Road.

If you were in Montpelier, a car with its rear window replaced with cardboard and big scrapes down the side wouldn't get a second glance -but here we are in St Werburghs. What is up?

Apparently, the owner of this car dangerously parked their car on the inside of an HGV.

The HGV -entirely innocently, as the car was hiding in its blind spot- scraped down the side of the car, caught the rear bumper and pulled it off. It also clipped the rear hatch, pulling that up, bending it, and in the process shattering the window.

Why did this happen? Because the car driver, recklessly, parked their car on the inside of where an HGV would go past some ten hours later. For this reason, it is their own fault.

We say: people like this need to go on a "safe parking near HGVs" course, rather than complain about passing trucks from destroying their vehicles. At the very least, they could use that spare space to the right of the picture, the "pavement".

St Werburgh's Schoolkids

This is the first time anyone has actually asked to be filmed or photographed by one of our reporters. For that reason alone, they get coverage:

Job creation scheme

If they fix things, they know how to break them.

What better way to earn revenue as a Highway Maintenance contractor than parking up on the pavement on a double-yellow lined corner, such as here Ashley Parade in St Werbugh's. At least if the lorry KM10NJN does any damage to the pavement, they'll be in a position to fix it

The school run in St Werburgh's

Over abroad, they are going on about Cargo Bikes that take kids to school.

In Bristol, we have these things called Cars for that in most of the city.

It is only in St Werburgh's that the locals revert to pedestrian version of the cargo bike -the wheelbarrow. The kids seem happy -but where are their helmets?

Breaking news: a new route for cyclists arrives

While dark things were happening in London; a new movement set up to bring cycling to the masses, and troublemakers in Filton were painting bollards to make the cycle paths somewhere safe to cycle, here in Bristol the council spent the weekend trying to bring cycling to Horfield, at least Dovercourt Lane, which now has a route between their houses and B &Q that doesn't require 120-140mm of front suspension.

We had hoped for something that would create pedestrian/bicycle conflict, one where S Gloucs council would have to come down, show them city folk how it was done, and add some white bollards down the middle and gates at the end to calm down the cyclists and make the whole thing generally unpleasant. We call this the "Coronation Road" gambit: a cycle lane impossible to cycle down.

But this looks, well, wide and inviting.

There's a gentle rise, with visibility. People will be able to get from Dovercourt road to Muller Road without even going to any effort, to get the farm pub in St W's without working up a sweat. Compare that with the frustrating effort to drive to the same pub on a friday evening from the same location -all because the same council refuses to open up Boiling Well's Lane as a through route between Muller Road and the city.

We are shocked and disappointed.

Our big fear now is that the council will use this as an excuse for making Dovercourt Road and Wordsworth Road pleasant to cycle along. We shall be monitoring this, and ask for contributions from local drivers to resist this fundamental attack on the Bristol lifestyle.

UWE to the Farm pub, by way of Purdown Camp

Someone posts us this (long and dull) video, with commentary.

They say:

You are always whining about bicycles in your way and how your road tax is wasted on bike lanes, but look at this. At 5pm I can get all the way from UWE to the Farm Pub, St Werburgh's, by bicycle, through fields, without using any tax-funded bike lane, public road or blocking any vans, fifteen minutes door to door. You try doing that in your white van. Apart from the 30s waiting for the lights to change on Muller Road so I can cross it, it's lovely and traffic free. So please, stop complaining so much.

Some of our team members also enjoy the fine beverages served by the farm pub; indeed, one of those white vans may be ours. We also agree, that at 17:00, to drive from UWE Frenchay to the Farm pub will take 30 minutes minimum, by either route:

1. A4174 to M32, round St Pauls Roundabout to Mina Road and then that new 20 mph zone to the pub.
2. Down to Stapleton Road then traffic lights and traffic jams to Mina Road.

Does this want to make us get out or van and start cycling? No. What it does is reinforce our demand for a new road from UWE to Lockleaze, and a re-opening of Boiling Wells Lane from Muller Road to St Werburgh's. This will stop both Lockleaze and Ashley Vale from being forgotten parts of the city.

Secret Mina Road Parking

Another contributor emails bristol.traffic at gmail.com with a photo and text:

Here in St Werburghs, ex Royal Mail van W794KDA is demonstrating the use of a convenient telegraph pole to completely block the pavement, without the need to put all 4 wheels on the pavement.

Such was the driver's selfless dedication to the cause that he ignored the empty parking bays opposite! He did let the side down a bit when seeing the photo being taken, he said he would "only be 5 minutes", but still, it is a start