Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Imagine clocking this in your rear view mirror

THIS week I’d like to break with Life On Cars tradition and offer some practical car buying advice.

Specifically, I’ve a few suggestions for the road rage-ridden, van-driving cretin I encountered at a busy roundabout last week, who rather than give way decided to battle through at upwards of 40mph. When I sounded my horn to remind him I was already on the roundabout and could well have been about to ram him into the middle of next week, he politely responded by winding down his window and lobbing a can of his favourite drink straight at me. Charming!

I’m not about to advise you that all van drivers are inconsiderate twonks with little regard for the Highway Code but simply suggest this to my Transit-trashing friend; if you want to look aggressive in a van, why not just buy an aggressive looking van?

That’s why I’m hoping White Van Man will become Racing Van Man, thanks to a new Transit for delivery drivers who fancy a bit of GT40 with their Ford. Launched to tie in with the van’s 45th anniversary, it is essentially standard Transit fare - until you clock the fat tyres, the black alloy wheels and the white racing stripes, that is.

It’s the latest in a long line of Transits to be given the Dodge Viper treatment, and Ford know full well that van drivers love ‘em.

“We know that 'white van man' is image conscious both personally and for his business,” said Ford of Britain's marketing director, Mark Simpson.

“The SportVan is a real head-turner as well as a reliable workhorse and that's why they sell out so fast."

Basically, it’s a Transit designed by a five-year-old boy - all it’s missing is a few machine gun mounts - meaning you’re going to remember if it rumbles past you on a dual carriageway, negating any need for its owner to make up for a shortfall in machismo by driving like a berk.

But if you’re still going to insist on carving your way through busy traffic and cutting up every other road user on the way to a delivery you’re already running late for then I can suggest trying a trick a lot cheaper than the £22,630 Ford is asking for the SportVan.

Setting off earlier.

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